


Please tell mom this is not her fault

by dead_on_the_inside



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Dave angst, Hurt Karkat, Hurt/Comfort, I have concluded that this needs more tags, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Neglect, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Karkat Angst, M/M, SO, So..., This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, also, anyways now that I've worked on this more, before you get really worried, dude i really don't know okay, dude this was meant to be really fluffy but, i'm FINE, it just turned into, jk im an enby, kankri's a little annoying, little bit of, ngl im basically just projecting onto KK, no beta we die like annoying emo assholes, no beta we die like men, okay, wow this got heavy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:41:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27512488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dead_on_the_inside/pseuds/dead_on_the_inside
Summary: Karkat gets paired up with Dave in a science projectit's a little cliche, but who cares
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	Please tell mom this is not her fault

**Author's Note:**

> dude my life has fallen apart
> 
> does anyone wanna co-author a book with me? Anything homestuck or pjo related is fine by me, I just want to write but I can't keep a schedule for shit.
> 
> also I'm sorry if the spanish isn't correct, I'm not fluent but I know some, and I put it through a couple different translators too (translations are at the bottom)
> 
> Pesterchum : abnormalBetrayal  
> Insta : i.kin.dave.strider  
> Tiktok : ikindavestrider

For as long as you can remember (okay, just since the beginning of middle school) you, Karkat Vantas have had a rivalry with Dave Strider. So, you weren’t exactly thrilled when Mrs. Smith assigned both of you to raise an egg together for your science project.

The project was supposed to last two weeks (you guess it could always be worse), and the egg had to stay safe, not crack or break, and it had to be the original egg, one of the ones Mrs. Smith marked with one of the stamps from her collection.

~~~~~ Friday, 2:09 pm ~~~~~

“Dude let me have the egg, you’re gonna break with your grubby little hands,”

“I am going to do NO SUCH THING, so leave me and my ‘grubby little hands’ alone,”

“It’s my grade on the line too, now, give. Me. The. Egg,”

“NO,”

“Yes,”

“NO!”

“All I’m hearing is a chorus of ‘yes’, screamed like a bunch of teen girls who just got asked to drink Harry Styles’ special juice, if you know what I mean,”

Your jaw really shouldn’t drop as far as it does, but even after years of having to hear Dave’s ridiculous innuendos and metaphors, a lifetime of religious bullshit still sticks with you sometimes.

The egg is pulled from your grasp.

“See,”

Gogdamn insufferable Strider.

~~~~~ Monday, 8:53 am ~~~~~

“Okay, you got to keep the egg over the weekend, and I swear to god if you broke it-”

“Dude, chill, peggy’s fine, see, peachyer than the most peachy peach in an orchard that only grows peaches,”

“Okay, ignoring the hoofbeast-shit that was that... actually I’m not sure what that was, but, more importantly, YOU NAMED HER PEGGY!”

“Well yeah, see it’s a play on the fact that she’s an egg, so like-,”

“I don’t care about why, but I didn’t agree to it so Peggy isn’t her name,”

“Dude, chill, call her what you want, but I’m naming her Peggy,”

~~~~~ Monday, 12: 07 pm ~~~~~

“So, how's Peggy,”

Gogdamnit.

Why did you say that? The world may never know the true stupidity of Karkat Fucking Vantas, but you think they get enough, even without having to read minds.

“See, Peggy *is* a good name-”

“Say one more word and I’m going to shove my foot so far up your asshole that your intestines come out of your nose”

“...Kinky”

You opened yourself up to that one

~~~~~ Tuesday, 4:50 pm ~~~~~

“Karkat, do you have your tie on, bible study starts in- oh no we only have 20 minutes to get there, we should get going”

You hate this about living with Kankri sometimes. Then again, it’s better he be here, so you don’t have to deal with mom alone. She’s probably upstairs shooting a needle up her arm right now, or will be soon. It got pretty bad after dad died, but Kankri had gone off to college for two years, and in that time it would be easier to count the times mom remembered that she had a kid than the times that you’d walked in on her high, or passed out, or drunk.

So yeah, probably better to just deal Kankri shoving religion down your throat.

Even if you never fit in among all the church goers, standing out with the hair that refuses to settle down and the pass-me-downs you wear in place of anything that costs money.

~~~~~ Tuesday , 5:34 pm ~~~~~

It’s cold in the car on your way back from church, but it always is, since Kankri doesn’t want to waste gas (and therefore money) on turning on the heater. You’re in the cardigan that you always wear to church when Kankri makes you go, the red one that used to be your dad’s. Your grey tie is too tight around your neck, and your shoes are too small.

Sometimes it’s the small things that make you realize that you won’t ever really fit in with the people around you. You never really cared that you only ever got the cheapest, off-brand stuff you could get, and that you sometimes could barely make rent and had to mow lawns to get the last that Kankri needed. That was just the way it was. But sometimes, when your mind would quiet down, you’d realize that you never had as much as others. And then you’d feel guilty because you know that other people have it worse.

~~~~~ Wednesday, 3:45 pm ~~~~~

At this point everyone in school knows about you and Dave getting paired up for that assignment. Everyones freaking out a little because of the aforementioned rivalry that you have with Dave, some of them are a little scared that you’re going to blow something up in the crossfire. That’s not going to happen. You know that because that would affect your grades, and while Dave may get good grades way too easily you don’t.

“Sooooooo, who’s keeping the egg tonight?”

“You can if you want,”

This morning mom almost broke it while she was leaving.

“Really dude? You usually try and argue with me,”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t this time!” You snap out.

Then you pull the egg out of your pocket, hand it to him and run off.

You end up in the bathroom at the back of the school, the one that’s never really clean. It’s empty. You take a deep breath, trying to stop the tears that want to come. Why are you crying? You aren’t really sure. Maybe it’s because this morning when you woke up everything hit you like a brick. And then mom had been drunk out of her mind. She’d pushed you down the stairs, and now your ribs hurt and you had a black eye that was covered with your hair. Maybe. Or maybe it was because you were just sick of it all. Either way you don’t want to think about it. So instead you curl up next to one the toilets in the corner, and let yourself cry.

~~~~~ Wednesday, 11:59 pm ~~~~~

You can’t sleep. Why did you snap at him like that and then just go running off? You shouldn’t have done that. Imbécil. Goddammit. There goes your brain, talking in spanish again. You do that sometimes, but you aren’t very fluent anymore. It’s been a long time since your family basically stopped speaking in spanish, and over the years you’ve forgotten a lot of it. You have a vague memory of going to a Dia de los Muertos festival near the border in New Mexico when you were a kid, surrounded by the smell of fresh bread, and sweets, and marigolds. You and Kankri had been there with papá, you think. He’d pulled you out of kindergarten and Kankri out of fifth grade for the day. 

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

_“Pap_ _á, why isn’t Mom here?”_

_“She didn’t want to go, and she wouldn’t understand anyway,”_

_“Why not, papá?” Kankri looked like he was about to say more._

_“Because she doesn’t know spanish very well and she doesn’t celebrate Dia De Los Muertos,”_

_You just nodded, forgot about it, enjoying the rest of the day. You saw beautiful people dancing, and ofrendas covered in pan de muerto and pictures of loved ones. A lot of people said ‘hi’ to Papá and talked with him, a lot of them seemed happy to see you too, even though you couldn’t really remember them. There was music, and good smells, and delicious, spicy food._

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

It’s one of your favorite memories, and always brings back good feelings, even if only temporarily. And it managed to shut your brain up for a little while.

~~~~~ Thursday, 9:33 am ~~~~~

“Hey dude are you okay?”

“Yeah… I’m fine,”

“Okay…. it’s just, you ran off yesterday, and it looked like you were zoning out a lot during class, I mean, I tried to get your attention and you just, like, blinked a few times,”

“Uh.... sorry, I didn’t get much sleep last night,” _mentiroso_ . **No, that’s true.** _But it’s not what’s wrong._ The other part of you doesn’t have anything to fire back. Gogdamn, you think you might have officially gone crazy.

“Okay…...uhhmm, well, anyways, I think Peggy missed you,” He pulls the egg out of his pocket and hands it to you.

“...Thanks,”

~~~~~ Friday, 12:38 pm ~~~~~

  
  


When Dave transferred to your school in fourth grade, you asked the teacher why he was allowed to wear sunglasses indoors. She’d told you it was because his eyes were extra sensitive to light. You had no reason to doubt that, and you didn’t, but sometimes you think he likes to hide behind his shades too. He seemed to be doing that now.

“So, do you want to sit with me at lunch today? I mean, you don’t have to, of course, but I think it would be cool, you know, and then we could figure out how to start writing the paper on ‘our experiences raising this egg’ so that we don’t have to keep talking during passing period, like a bunch of gossiping social rejects, then again, the only part of that statement that doesn’t fit you is the gossiping part, so we can keep doing it this way if that’s what you’re used to-,”

“Fine, I’ll sit with you if it get’s you tO SHUT THE FUCK UP!” 

“Then hurry up, tables fill up fast,”

~~

The Cafeteria is cold. You usually hang out in the gym with Gamzee and Sollux, so it comes as a bit of a shock to be surrounded by this many people, and have a place that’s still this fucking freezing. 

Dave pulls you towards his table, one of the ones near the middle that are basically reserved for popular people. He shows you the table, indicates a seat and says something that you think is ‘sit here’, and then leaves to buy lunch. So you sit down a little uncomfortable with having everyone who sits there eyes on you. 

“Hi! You´re Karkat right? I’m John,” A kid with a ghostbusters shirt and a geeky haircut. 

“I’m Rose, this is my girlfriend Kanaya, and that’s Jade” A girl with blonde hair the same shade as Dave’s talks, pointing out Kanaya (you and her talk sometimes, she’s pretty nice), and a girl with long dark hair.

“UuHhh… hI?” Shit. You officially hate your vocal cords. 

A bit of an awkward silence descends over the group for a few moments until Dave gets back, holding two lunches in his arms. John already has one, and Kanaya and Jade have lunch-boxes, so you aren’t surprised when he hands the extra to Rose. You don’t get school lunch most of the time because you don’t want to spend money on it, so you usually skip eating lunch or you bring something small from home. You’re glad you brought an apple today because it would be weird to be the only person not eating right now. 

Most of lunch is...well kind of boring, to be honest. It’s not as fun and kind of goofy as hanging out with Gamzee and Sollux is and it’s not as chill either. Then again that could be because Gamzee’s always high, and Sollux is always talking about his discord-boyfriend. Maybe you just expected more from the popular group then some half hearted inside jokes that were said so seriously you didn’t know they were jokes until someone laughed a little. But that could have been because you were there. Whatever. You focus on starting a draft of the paper you have to write for science while you eat your apple, while occasionally getting Dave to help, but for the most part, you’re probably going to be writing the paper yourself. 

You make it half-way through lunch before Sollux shows up. 

“Goddammit KK, I told you I would prove it to you today, now c’mon, I managed to hack through the schools block on discord, and my boyfriends up at what’s like 11 pm for him, so c’mon, he doesn’t stay up very long,”

You glance at the table, and decide to just go with him. So you grab the paper and your half-eaten apple, and stand up.

“Sorry, I gotta go”

They didn’t seem to care, but Kanaya waved goodbye, and Dave did one of his forever annoying “Bro Hand-shake” thingies.

~~

The gym is a bit of a comfort, if an odd one. It’s basically just got a few stoner huddled in one of the corners, but you Sollux and Gamzee usually sit on the other end, even though Gams would fit in perfectly with them. Actually he looks high right now, but that isn’t really a surprise. 

There’s a laptop sitting next to Gamzee that you know isn’t supposed to be in here, but that’s probably Sollux’s doing. When you get nearer you can hear someone talking through the computer.

“Okay, I’m back with the slightly more sane one,”

“Oh, thank the lord above, this one is trying to get me to join his clown religion,”

“Hi, you’re Eridan right?”

The rest of your lunch, other than the five minutes you were talking to Eridan, is pretty normal.

~~~~~ Friday, 3:22 pm ~~~~~

“Okay, so….I was wondering if you wanted to take the egg this weekend, since I took it last weekend...and most of this week…-hey are sure  _ you _ aren’t slacking here, Vantas...”

The rest of his speech fades into the background. It feels like everything's catching up with you. Shit. you’re on the edge of panicking. You’re scared. Tomorrow. It’s the anniversary of your dad's death. Tomorrow.  _ Tomorrow.  _ Shit. Your brain’s going in circles. You can’t really tell if you’re freaking out because you don’t want to have to  _ think  _ about it (that’s why you tend to avoid it, to pretend that this time of year, that these few weeks, don’t make you want to lose the small breakfast you had this morning) or if it’s because of how mom gets around now. She usually acts…. Well not nice, but she pays more attention to you. It’s like the calm before the storm. She’ll be almost like a normal mom for a few days, but probably by now that facade has disappeared. She’s going to be drunk, or high, or both when you get home. Maybe Kankri will be there? No, he has that stupid “enlightenment trip” bullshit this week… and next. Mom gets angry this time of year. 

Fear settles in the pit of your stomach.

  
  


“Hey, dude, you okay, you look like you’ve been blanking out,”

“Huh? Oh yea I’m fine...uhh I guess I could take the egg this time,” You mostly say that because you want to make sure you’re doing your fair share, but you’re not sure if it’s really a good idea, since it might get broken by your mom.

Whatever.

~~~~~ Friday, 7:45 pm ~~~~~

FUck. FUCK. You’re only fif-fucking-teen. This shouldn’t be happening. You CAN’T be homeless at fif-fucking-teen. Well...technically you’re almost sixteen. Just two months. Then you can get a job. Except you don’t have an address. Or a bank account. And there’s no way anyone’s going to let a sixteen-year-old get an apartment, or even rent a motel room. Even if you could that’s still two months away.

You can’t go to Gamzee’s house because you don’t particularly want to be high all the time (that would just make things worse, actually) and Sollux’ family doesn’t really have enough money or space for another person.

You pause.  _ Think.  _ Okay… you can probably get away with staying somewhere for the next couple weeks, maybe even just tonight, if you’re lucky, and you can call Kankri tomorrow, see when he comes home, and have him talk to mom. Yeah. You can do that. Now you need somewhere to stay. Fuck. That’s an issue.

(Pesterlog)

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering  turntechGodhead [TG]

CG: WHAT’S YOUR ADDRESS? 

TG: why do you need it 

CG: NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS, SHITROD

TG: like dude im curious

TG: like are you going to murder me or something

TG: send that one girl that never shuts up about pirates or something to kill me

CG: VRISKA WOULD KILL *ME* IF I ASKED HER TO DO THAT

CG: BUT IF YOU MUST KNOW

CG: APESHITTING BRAINLESS ASSHOLE

CG: I NEED A PLACE TO STAY FOR TONIGHT

TG: good to know you probably won’t kill me

TG: 23 53rd Ave. 

TG: im assuming you know that we live in houston 

CG: FUCKSPONGE  
  
  


carcinoGeneticist ceased pestering turntechGodhead at 7:54 

~~~~~~~~~~ POV : Dave, Friday, 8:03 pm ~~~~~~~~~~

Wow. Okay, he really did show up after demanding your address. It was probably stupid to just give him your address (he could have just wanted it to like, hire a hitman or something) but you’ve always found it kinda hard to say no to Karkat. 

…

Because that’s what bros do. No other reason. None.

Okay, maybe you might just a little think he’s kind of cute you guess. 

Whatever. He’s here now, standing in the doorway to your apartment.

“Well, are you going to let me in, you kringlefucking load gaper of shit,”

You open the door wider, letting him by before you quickly close and lock it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Three months later, 9:35 pm ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Karkat’s hair is thick and kind of curly under your fingers. 

You still kind of can’t believe that he kissed back, two and a half months ago, in the middle of the school bathroom. Kind of a shit place for you to have a first kiss, but it was with Karkat, so you don’t mind. You only really get to spend time with Karkat when Bro’s away, which happens to include now, which is why you’re watching a rom-com with KK.

You might have gotten a slight obsession with running your hands through his hair. You don’t care.  
Life isn’t perfect, but it sure seems like it’s better than it has been for a while. Dirk, your little brother turned 13 last month, and you managed to convince Bro to let him go to a boarding school across the state. You miss him, but it’ll be safer this way. You spend a lot of nights at KK’s house (really it’s his brother’s, and apparently his mom is going to rehab), and it’s safer there, besides, you can leave behind some money and shit to help. Even though Karkat glares at you when you do.

Either way, it’s better than it has been in forever.

Karkat’s hair is soft in your fingers.

**Author's Note:**

> anyways, I was listening to Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths on repeat while writing this.
> 
> that has nothing to do with anything, but hey, if my life is going to fall apart might as well over share on the internet right?
> 
> also, this took way longer than it should have
> 
> mentiroso-liar
> 
> Pesterchum : abnormalBetrayal  
> Insta : i.kin.dave.strider  
> Tiktok : ikindavestrider


End file.
